Feeling lonely sometimes? You’re not alone, everyone goes through it. In the UK and around the world, plenty of people are choosing the single life on purpose. Whether it’s wanting freedom, managing your own money, or avoiding relationship drama, deciding to fly solo is totally valid and can actually be really fulfilling – most of the time!
With remote working pretty much the norm these days (I work remotely), it’s really easy just to NOT go out, to NOT accept that invite for a dog walking session – or a quick drink or even a pop in. Because, well, you may be tired from working ALL the time, you never get a rest, your computer or laptop is always on, your thoughts are always about work – its fairly typical, if you live on your own – it is really hard to just switch off.
I often speak with my UK and international friends on the phone about this subject. Most of them are single, some are not, but all of us experience feelings of loneliness and isolation. They say things like; “It often feels like no one really “gets” what I do or understands who I am, and while I sometimes joke that I’m saving the world through my work, the truth is far from glamorous. Social events become tiresome, my finances are stretched thin, and I’m watching as my friends lose their jobs left, right, and centre.
Or, My freelance life, which once felt so secure, now seems precarious with the rapid advancements in AI technology. How will it affect my job? My friends are already being side-lined in support roles, HR, payroll, and even more complex roles like programming. With all this uncertainty, I am feeling lonely as hell and just have no one to turn to.
Dealing with this is so hard at the moment, and I often advise my friends to try a few things that have worked for me and tell them my very recent realisations. It doesn’t mean that I don’t get feelings of loneliness, it just means I am now dealing with it in a different, more active way.
It’s a Tuesday afternoon, and I’m sitting at my home office, a space transformed into a beautifully bespoke design with the help of my friend and boss, Vito. The room reflects creativity and functionality, making it an awesome place to work. The soft hum of my 27″ all in one fills the air as I dive deep into yet another Meet call. The conversation buzzes on, but my thoughts drift elsewhere – to the emptiness that sometimes sneaks in between the emails and endless to-do lists.
I’ve embraced the single life and, honestly, it’s liberating. I love the freedom of managing my own schedule and finances without having to compromise/negotiate/beg/ask permission with a partner. However, like many others, I occasionally grapple with bouts of loneliness, especially since I work remotely.
Recently, I had a realisation brought about by a conversation with Vito on working practices: My computer was always on, and work seemed to bleed into every moment of the day. Social invitations – from spontaneous dog walks to casual drinks, were often declined simply out of exhaustion, leading to a cycle of isolation.
Determined to reclaim my sense of connection and well-being, I started setting boundaries. Work hours are now more defined, and I ceremoniously shut down my work computer at a set time each day (Kind of). I’ve established an evening routine, involving activities that don’t involve screens, perhaps cooking a new recipe (I am a former chef after all) or indulging in a creative hobby like writing and picking up my guitar far more often that I used to.
I realised that connection didn’t have to mean grand social events. I began accepting more low-key invitations – a quick coffee with a local friend or a short dog walk with my Mate and his Wife. Even these small interactions help create a sense of community and ease feelings of loneliness.
One weekend, while scrolling aimlessly through Netflix/Prime recommendations, I decided instead to use the time exploring my long-held interest in writing. This led to listening to podcasts on the art of writing, using AI to help me complete paragraphs that made sense (and yes, *AI helped with this too). Walking more – Cracked ribs have not helped this activity but its back on the agenda.
Despite traveling frequently for work, I’ve shifted my mindset from travel as a mere obligation to travel as exploration. Instead of retreating to my hotel room after an event, I now schedule small personal adventures, whether it’s exploring a hidden gem in the city or attending a local cultural event. I recently returned from Dubai, I was slightly injured from a couple of cracked ribs, but I still managed to walk around for many hours soaking up the atmosphere of what to me, was a strange, but intriguing city.
Through these intentional actions, I’m beginning to find a balance between appreciating solitude and fostering meaningful connections. Being proudly single no longer equates to being lonely; rather, it’s an opportunity to deepen self-discovery, cultivate new friendships, and engage fully with the world.
I’ve always wanted to be a counsellor of some sort, my friends and family say that I give good advice and can listen well. And, its an awesome way to earn a small stipend whilst traversing into retirement to help boost my pension payments. So, I started a course, we shall see how that progresses as its online and offline AND I have to get counselling too!
For anyone navigating similar challenges, remember that loneliness is a natural human experience, but with small, intentional steps, it’s possible to build a life full of connection, joy, and fulfilment – even when flying solo – it may take effort or maybe an inspirational talk with someone you admire and trust.
You will, like me, have many doubts as to the validity of being single sometimes, but, in the end, it’s a choice I have made and for the time being, I am sticking with it.
*Bertha AI helped me with clarity, grammar and spelling, along with expanding my thoughts on this interesting subject.